Recently, I read an article about a young mother wondering if anything she accomplished in her day amounted to much of anything. Truthfully, we might all feel the same way from 
time to time. The laundry lies unfolded on the floor, dishes pile in the sink, we forgot to make cookies for the bake sale, and we haven’t showered in days. We wonder,” where did that competent, witty, intelligent women go?” Some women stay home with their children, longing for the days of presentations and working lunches. Others spend their days at on the job trying to focus on the report that is due in an hour, when all they really want to know is how their son did on his big science project, or if their daughter made the soccer team. We ask ourselves, “How can I possibly be enough?”
As women we grew up watching successful tv mothers like Carol Brady and June Cleaver perfectly content in their role as a stay at home mother. We admired Clair Huxtable’s ability to successfully manage a home, children, and career while still finding time for nights out with her husband. As we drop into bed exhausted from our efforts to be the perfect mom, wife, daughter, friend we might ask ourselves what am I doing wrong? We might even have thoughts of disappointment in motherhood. This isn’t what we expected when we dreamed of starting a family.
The truth is parenting is the most difficult job you will ever have. You are on call 24 hours a day, you get no vacation time or sick days, there are no raises or bonuses and the return on your investment is slow. Too often our culture devalues the role of motherhood. How many times have we heard a woman say “I am just a mom” if she stays home to raise her children? A mother who works outside of the home may feel unsupported by her employer when she needs time off to care for a sick child forcing her to choose between her children and her career. In her book, Life Will Never Be the Same, Ann Dunnewold, Ph.D. speaks of the Supermom Myth which implies there is only one right way to be a good mother. The Supermom is loving but firm. She listens and then acts. She is always in control. She always knows the right thing to do or say and does it perfectly. Her home is always in order and her children are always neat and properly dressed. Trying to live up to these impossible standards leaves us feeling inferior, or worse, a failure as a mother.
There are many functional ways to parent and mother our children. When a woman creates her own definition of motherhood she can stop blaming herself for not living up to the Supermom expectations. She can create her own standards of motherhood based on love and acceptance of her needs and limitations. Her children will thrive with a mother who understands that mistakes in life are not only inevitable, but opportunities for growth. She will teach her children about the importance of self-care by taking time to nurture her personal needs. So are you good enough? Absolutely! – by Susan Orlando